Chrysalis

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In trying to understand her through their perspectives, you slowly come to understand the narrators and their experiences. That form hopefully allows a reader to consider how the things that they look at—the things that they experience, the people that they see or encounter through their phones online—are forces that act upon them. To some extent, the things that you look at, or allow your attention to be consumed by, become constructive [or] destructive forces on yourself.” Things have changed a lot since that first day. She's kind of famous. Or at least, she has a lot of followers online. People admire her authenticity, her focus and determination. They say the way she holds her body is a kind of truth.”

JA: There are so many systems that hold us all. It reminds me of when you were talking about buying a new dress; like do we really have to transform our whole selves? It feels like you’re chasing this other version of yourself that never really actually exists, but for a brief period of time you can pretend like if you do this one thing, you will. There’s a measure of fleeting joy to be found in that. Walking to the gym, I felt queasy, worse than if I hadn’t eaten anything. I paced up and down the car park. I took deep breaths and my stomach growled. When I got to reception, there was a new kid on the desk. I also thought a lot about the necessity of performing some sort of victimhood in the face of trauma in that it is almost required, I think, that someone might appear damaged or might perform their victimhood in a way that makes their trauma legible to others. Here, we have a protagonist who has experienced trauma, but is refusing to perform any kind of victimhood. She only really offers us tiny moments where she’s willing to exhibit vulnerability. WOW. I just devoured this. What a wonderful, painful, funny novel... it's so beautiful and cruel, and summed up just perfectly by the ending - a flawless final sentence, one of the best I've ever read, it absolutely gave me chills' - Avni DoshiThank you to NetGalley and Penguin Random House for the opportunity to read an ARC and give an honest review! Her resilience becomes performative as she posts videos and launches a career as a cult figure who embraces solitude We never get the woman's own perspective - I can see why the author approached the narrative in this way but it did frustrate me as a reader at times. This is a hard novel to describe or summarise, and it left me feeling unsettled on finishing... although not necessarily in a bad way.

Over the course of the novel it becomes clear that the woman is preparing for “the next phase” of her life where she will leave those who knew her behind, in favour of something else. The abandoned narrators watch the content that she creates and posts online: she is a wellness influencer of a sort and her strange videos are devoted to strength and stillness. “Variously all three narrators describe her as being made out of stone or carved from something, so it’s as if she becomes made of some natural material rather than a person. Something that’s more durable or more permanent than a person.”Depending on her mood, she could move differently. She could make words sound different in her mouth. She'd tell me about her plans – which friends she was seeing, what time she'd be home – and though the parts of her life were familiar, I'd have the feeling of talking to a stranger.” Deliciously timely.... Metcalfe is a properly clever writer - she moves deftly between the voices of her narrators with ease, while her prose is assured, unforced, and almost graceful * AnOther Magazine * I can’t stop thinking about this incredibly smart and totally unique novel. Ranging from online obsession, to mothers and daughters, to the very nature of selfhood, the whole thing is strange and warm and, crucially, very funny. With shades of Han Kang, Catherine Lacey and Gwendoline Riley, Metcalfe’s writing is both dissecting and effortless; I savoured every last brilliant sentence’ Ruth Gilligan But at the same time, this book isn't really about the woman at all: Instead, it becomes about three people in her orbit, who are drawn to her and find a purpose in her presence. There's Elliot, who watches her transformation from the very beginning at the gym they both attend; her mother, Bella, who struggled to understand her daughter when she was young and can now only watch from a distance as she blossoms; and Susie, a coworker whose empty apartment and lonely existence are reinvigorated when the woman moves in with her. The book is told in three parts from their first-person points-of-view, as Anna Metcalfe explores themes of isolation and loneliness, reinvention, desperation and obsession, and the complex ramifications of trauma.

Do you see the world as a difficult and stifling place? What do you make of enigmatic Nicola? I urge you to read Anne Metcalfe's debut novel with these questions in mind.

I really, really did love [it]... I think it's a really interesting discussion and reflection on a topic that is very prevalent in the world -- Jen Campbell We are more surprised when we see a woman refusing to conform to somebody else’s expectations of how they ought to behave. Consider the above question in light of what Susie says here. Although some ask about Nicola's friends and family and wonder where the children are, many are moved by her presence, her strength, her stillness – her inner power. The novel charts her physical and mental change into a new person who eschews many societal norms and finds meaning in making meditation and fitness videos online, attracting a huge following.